what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
