So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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