How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
