Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
