I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
