it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
