Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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