Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
