So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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