hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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