I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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