So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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