Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize