i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
