Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
