Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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