Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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