We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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