LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize