listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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