just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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