But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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