its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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