I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
