So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
