If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
