are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
