i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
