the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize