plz talk dirty to me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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