If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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