she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
