I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
tell me about the fingering
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