You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I did not marry a roomba.
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