So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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