are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.