He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study