you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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