how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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