For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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