You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
