I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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