so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
