i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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