All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
