I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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