Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
