just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
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