Just mADE A PArabola og urine
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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