Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
