Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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