how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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