I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
