Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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