You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
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I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
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I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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