i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
