? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
