so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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