If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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