if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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