Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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