I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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