no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
