i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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