its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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