someone owes me an orgasm
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
