Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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